My name is Cassandra and I am addicted to doing.
Oh…and I am the Queen of “I’m fine”
No matter what the question is, or offer to help,
About 90% of the time I will automatically respond with “I’m fine.”
And if you would have asked me a few years ago,
I would have said that it’s because I’m a Black woman in corporate, my astrological sign, a 1st born daughter or because I am GenX.
However, now I know better.
If any of this sounds like you, keep reading.
And I’ll hold your hand (this might sting a bit)
So the truth is…
While we feel like this is just a part of our personality and we have everything under control,
“I’m fine” is a trauma response.
This is us in survival mode, prioritizing everything but our Self.
This is us, being too smart for our own good.
While logical thinking tells us to do all the things,
You know…because we’re the only ones who can get it done right.
We also have to acknowledge that it leads to outcomes that are not good for us.
I know, I know.
If we don’t do all the things then….
What?
You aren’t going to die,
You probably won’t lose your job,
Your kids will be fine,
Your husband will still love you,
Your true friends will understand,
And the dishes will get done at some point.
…the world will keep spinning even if you aren’t the one running around making it spin.
What if….?
Your labor, effort and energy aren’t the required sacrifice for a good life.
God did not put you here to work, pay bills, clean the house and die.
Everything you want is available to you, as the rested version of your Self.
“I’m fine” is our illusion of control.
Our ego’s way of saying, “When I do all the things, everything is fine”
But in reality, the constant doing is what’s keeping us from everything we say we want… peace, clarity, health, fulfillment, freedom.
And again Sis, you are not alone.
I used to live there … in the chaotic space between pride and panic.
Telling myself I’ll be fine.
But always feeling like I have too much to do.
Reassuring myself that it will feel better to rest when I’m done.
But the truth?
That was ego.
Both pride ego and survival ego.
And she was running the show.
It’s what I now call “productivity trauma”
And it leads to doing addiction.
It’s when high-achieving women start performing success instead of embodying it.
We over function, overdeliver, and overextend because we’re afraid of what might happen if we stop.
On the outside we look disciplined.
But on the inside is a cocktail with heavy pours of fear, guilt, inadequacy and anxiety.
The cost of that hangover is higher than we are willing to acknowledge.
Our body knows it.
The exhaustion, the stress, the headaches that come from “just one more thing.”
Our Spirit knows it.
That quiet ache that whispers, “There’s more to life.”
We’ve been conditioned to believe that labor, effort, and exhaustion are the required sacrifices for a good life.
But they’re not.
Everything you want…the career, the impact, the abundance, the peace,
Is available to you even if you rest.
Before you lock in and lose yourself in an effort to finish the year strong,
Give thought to what your team, family, business, or cause really needs.
Real leadership isn’t about doing everything yourself.
It’s about getting from point A to B without harming your Self or others.
Anyone can get from point A to B while killing themselves.
But is that a Leader….would you follow them?
When we rest, we lead.
You set a new bar for how success looks, feels, and is sustained.
You model personal standards, true power, and belief that you are worthy.
Because what good is the title, the salary, or the dream business,
If it costs you your joy, your health and humanity?
So here’s your loving reminder, Sis…
You don’t have to earn your right to rest.
You already are worthy of it.
You are more magnetic, more powerful, more creative, and more YOU when you are rested.
And that’s the energy the world needs.
Not another tired woman pushing through.
Ask yourself…What am I afraid will happen if I stop?
And then, ask…What might happen if I rest?
Spoiler alert…
You’ll find peace and your next breakthrough waiting for you
After you rest.
Your next step?
Join The Body Ministry™….The ultimate membership where diet + exercise + lifestyle = the body you love to live in.
This isn’t about restricting food or going harder in the gym.
It’s about learning how to thrive in a system that was never built for your health.
Inside, you’ll get consistent structure, nourishment, and support from women who are living it too.
Welcome to the 7th Pillar of Self-Care: Rest, in the Physical Realm.